When we first met he was a perfect gentleman. He did the right things and said the right things. I was happy when he asked me to be his girlfriend.
He is a driver so he spends a lot of time on the road. Because of this, every moment we got to spend together was precious to me. I cherished those moments because they were not the kind of moments I got every day.
We didn’t spend a lot of time together when we were dating so I didn’t get to pay attention to certain things. The signs were there. I just didn’t make anything of them. Like how he wouldn’t receive certain phone calls in my presence. And the instances where he freaks out if I went near his phone. I never had the intention of going through it but the way he guarded the phone against me made me suspicious. Instead of listening to my instinct, I brushed it off. I told myself “Things are good. The ghosts I see are in my imagination. They can’t be real.”
When Kojo asked me to marry him I was over the moon.
I took him home to my family and they endorsed him. He introduced me to his family and they welcomed me with wide-open arms. They came to see my family and performed the knocking rites. His mother and his aunt really liked me. They called to check up on me regularly and I dared to think we were friends. Anytime Kojo’s sketchiness with his phone came to my mind, I banished it immediately; “Come on, his mother loves you. He is marrying you. He loves you so what do you have to fear?”
That’s how I silenced my doubts. We got married and later signed in court. Even after marriage, I still didn’t see any change in him. He still answered certain calls away from my ears. He guarded his phone as if it held the secrets to the universe. I decided to approach things with patience.
READ ALSO Samson Ayenini; The Hypocritical GOAT Should Shut Up! Citi TV Journalists Were Immature, Unprofessional, And Tribalistic
I couldn’t touch his phone but I could see the screen sometimes. I observed that the phone calls he ignores or goes away to answer belong to one particular number. I read his body language when the calls came through. He tenses up at first but then he answers and walks away from me. Sometimes, I stood somewhere he wouldn’t see me and watched him talk on the phone. He was often relaxed and chatty with the person as though I’m the one he was talking to.
I asked myself, “Since I am here who is he talking to?” I pushed away the thought that my husband might be cheating on me. After all, our marriage was too new for him to start cheating on me. One day, we were together when that particular number called again. Before he answered the call I asked “Who is that person calling you? I’ve observed that number. It calls you too often to be ordinary.” He said, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He then walked out to receive the call.
I got furious but I controlled myself. I knew it was just a matter of time before I found things out for myself. “A woman will know if she wants to know,” someone said that a few days ago.
One day, the number called again. Luckily for me, I was sitting in a place where I could look directly at the screen. Within a few seconds, I had engraved the number in my mind. I quickly dialed it on my phone and saved it.
After he finished talking to the number, I also called. The voice on the other side was a woman, just as I suspected. “Hello,” she said. I didn’t waste time on pleasantries. I went straight for the kill; “Hello, please who are you? And what’s your relationship with Kojo?” She answered confidently, “He’s my husband. Is there any problem? Who are you?” I responded, “I’m Kojo’s wife.” She didn’t believe what I said and I also didn’t believe her when she said my husband was her husband.
I said, “If you’re serious about what you’re saying then prove it.” She answered, “Don’t worry. I will send you a photo of our marriage certificate. I don’t know why you want to claim a man who is not yours.” Later, she sent me a photo of their certificate. It is true.
They are married. They’ve been married for eleven years while ours was only three weeks old. I called her again on the phone and we talked. She told me they have been trying to have kids but nothing had worked. Kojo’s family put a lot of pressure on him to take another wife but he refused to heed his family’s advice.
I was devastated. It hurt that he lied to me. It hurt more to find out that he only married me to make babies for him. He didn’t marry me out of love. He only needed someone to give him kids.
I felt foolish. I thought of how his family embraced me and asked myself, “So were they all part of the charade? I trusted them so why would they do this to me?”
I called his mother and asked her between sobs; “Why didn’t you tell me your son was already married? Why did you lie to me?” She tried to calm me but I wouldn’t hear of it. I kept asking questions after questions but she had no answer to any of them.
When Kojo came home, I rushed to him with the evidence. I asked the same questions I asked his mother. He didn’t act surprised. It looked like someone must have told him before he came home. He hasn’t said a word to dignify my questions.
I have been crying for days now. I know I shouldn’t have been too trusting of him but it’s not altogether my fault. I am not the one who married two women without telling either of them. This is not on me. I feel the urge to hurt myself but I won’t do it.
I will pick up the pieces of my life and move on. I know that I will be fine. I just feel so ashamed and betrayed right now. I don’t even know how I’m going to explain it to people without feeling stupid.
I have asked my family to return their drinks to them. Looking at what’s at hand, I don’t even think our marriage was valid in the first place. That notwithstanding, I have called for the annulment of our marriage.
His mother and his aunt are telling me not to be hasty in my decision to leave their son. Kojo himself hasn’t said anything to me. I hate the fact that he manipulated me with his lies so there is no way I am staying with him. I will heal and then I will give myself another chance to love again.
Source: TheBBCghana.Com
